How to Talk about Starting Therapy

The idea of therapy can sometimes be daunting for both parents and children. But with the right approach and familial support., therapy can be a rewarding and empowering experience. learn practical and compassionate strategies for parents and guardians to discuss the start of therapy with their children, tailored to different age groups.


General Tips

Normalize Therapy: It's crucial to make therapy seem like a regular and positive thing. Think of it as going to the dentist when you have a toothache – if a child struggles with emotions, a therapist is there to help. 

Key Message: A therapist is like a coach who supports and teaches skills to guide an individual to reach their desired goals. 

Be Strategic with Timing: Choose calm moments to discuss therapy. It might be during a meal, while playing a simple game, or on a relaxed weekend. Give a week's heads-up for most kids but a shorter notice (around two days) for more anxious children.


Tips for Younger Kids

Keep It Simple: Use developmentally appropriate language. E.g., "We're going to see a person who talks about feelings."

Avoid over-promising: Instead of "We're meeting a new friend", say "We're seeing someone who helps with emotions."

Repetition Helps: Remind them periodically about the upcoming session.


Tips for Older Kids (School-Aged)

Draw Familiar Comparisons: Relate the therapist to a school counselor. E.g., "It's like speaking to Ms. So-and-so about feelings."

Offer Support: Reassure them that they're not alone and that the family is there to support their journey.

Prepare in Advance: Using therapist-provided questionnaires or their online profiles can help lessen any anticipatory anxiety.


Tips for Tweens and Teens

Realistic Perspectives: Avoid presenting therapy as a solution to a "problem." Instead, highlight it as a space to learn skills and tools to help with strong emotions and an opportunity to work towards their goals.

Honest Communication: Directly address their feelings and observations. E.g., "I noticed you've been sad lately."

Confidentiality Matters: Reassure them that their conversations with the therapist remain private unless there's a risk of harm to themselves or others.

Team Mentality: Remind them you are on their team and are there to support and come alongside them to achieve their goals.

Previous Negative Experience: Emphasize finding the right therapist or personality "fit". If one didn't work out, another might.


Starting therapy for children requires sensitive communication and the right approach. Normalizing therapy, using suitable timing, and age-appropriate language are vital. Simplicity suits younger kids, while older ones need familiar comparisons and support. Tweens and teens benefit from honest communication and confidentiality. Emphasizing the right therapist fit and a team approach is key for all ages, aiding in a smoother and more positive therapy experience.

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